To bring you up to speed here's what my 2010 was like.
January: celebrated a new year with great friends, and my husband. We had a wonderful night. in the middle of January it was my husbands birthday so I took him away for 3 days to a romantic couples get away, as we had both been working hard, and hadn't spent much time together. Oh it is was amazing. so quiet and a beautiful spot. Looking back this was the first time that I realised that we had a problem. I took him to a place out the back of Lithgow, Lake Lyall. There is little or no mobile reception. He sent a lot of time walking around looking for reception, saying that he just needed to check on his business.
February: My husband had ordered this instrument to be made for him, in LA. he finds out that it will be ready in late June. so he books a flight to go and pick it up. however doesn't tell me yet.
March: One night, my husband lets it slip that he has booked his ticket to go to the USA, to collect his instrument, and that he will be going for 3 weeks. with all the mystery surrounding it I believe that he has bought me a ticket too, for our 10th wedding anniversary in April. I am so super excited as it had been many years since we had a holiday together. So I organise a passport and start looking at all the amazing things that we can do together.
April: I try to control and hide my excitement about the pending trip, I dont want him to catch on that i think that I am coming too. On our wedding anniversary, I give my husband his wedding ring, resized as his gift, he hasn't been able to wear it as it didn't fit. We go to our favourite place for dinner, so romantic. We come home and he goes into his study to his computer (this should have been such a sign) Eventually he comes to bed. the next morning I wake up and realise that I didn't receive anything for our anniversary, this makes me a little sad, ok more than a little. He asks me what is wrong, and i say that i thought I was getting a ticket for the USA trip, but instead I get nothing, not even a card. he says I took you out for dinner what more do you want??? I let it drop not wanting to cause problems. We weren't rich and we weren't poor, but we could have afforded 2 tickets.
A week later I have my scheduled Carpel Tunnel operation, which is successful. I spend the next week in bed, with my husband and mother waiting on me hand and foot, as I can't do much with my right hand out of action, and on the heavy pain killers. 10 days after the operation, on the first day I am allowed to drive, I fall down a step at my mothers house and break open my incision site. Oh the pain. My mother was having bible study with her friends inside when it happened. the only person that I wanted was my husband, whom they called and he arrived before the ambulance. the ambulance officers, redress my hand and make arrangements for me to see the surgeon the next day. my husband tells me that he is just too busy to take me to the surgeon, so my sister takes me, the surgeon says that I have crushed the nerves and ruined the work that he did, and i need another operation to have the site cleaned out and restitched. The operation is scheduled for the following day. My husband drops me off at the hospital the following day, and I am to call when I need him to collect me. I call him once I wake up from the operation and he says he will be there within the hour. 2 hours later he is still not there, so I call again, oh he is caught up at work and just can't possibly come and get me, is there someone else who can do it!! WTF what happened to being the love of my life! I call my sister and she arrives about 1.5 hours later.
May: There is alot of tension at home as my husband doesn't seem to want to talk about his up coming trip, He says that he wants to just take everyday as it comes and to have an unplanned trip. he is staying with a friend that he met on the internet about 9 years ago, and manages some web sites with.
June: With the impending trip to start at the end of the month, I am finding it hard to imagine life without hubby for 3 weeks, as we had never been apart for longer than 3 nights in 10 years. I find out by accident that hubby is not staying with this friend in LA until 5 days before he comes home. So I ask him what is going on. he tells me that he had made friends with a couple from Baltimore on facebook and they had invited him to stay with them, and that they had paid for his internal flights so while he was traveling all the way over there he thought that he would see as much of the country as he could. While I am not comfortable with the trip and him staying with these people that I had never heard of, or met, life continues, mostly with me in tears alot cause i dont understand why he doesn't want to take me.
We agree that once he is there, that he will buy a cell phone so that we can talk everyday. I make friends with the couple from Baltimore, on facebook, and start chatting to them, hoping to feel a little more comfortable with the trip.
So the day arrives for the trip, I wasn't allowed to help pack, to help organise anything, I was given no details other than, this is when my flight leaves, and this is when i will be returning, oh and should something happen to me this is my insurance policy.
The farewell at the airport was horrible, with the promise that he will call as soon as he lands in La, I walk away before I had a massive break down. I cried for 2 hours on the way home. I just had this feeling that he was not going to return.
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